There's a thing or three you guys don't know about me.
Like the fact that I can't touch my toes. And that I don't love mint chocolate chip ice cream. And that 79.9% of the time I'm a walking ball of stress but try really, really hard not to show it.
It's my job to be happy. It's my job to be enthusiastic. And most of the time, I really am! Alchemy and this blog depend on it. But let me tell ya, it's not always easy to play that role. The past few months have made me cry a lot of happy tears and more than a few sad ones. My job is incredibly rewarding but just as mentally taxing. The blog is growing but my ability to set aside the time it deserves is dwindling.
My family is coping with a few completely unexpected medical conditions, one of which happened just last night and inspired me to write this post. When you hear that the health of some one you love dearly is compromised, nothing else matters. I mean who wants to write about salmon burgers when your dad is in the hospital?
It's okay to cry.
At the end of the day, nobody's life is perfect. Social media may make our lives seem top of the line, but isn't that the point? I doubt I'd have much of a following if I posted pictures of a hospital bed or a failed recipe. I don't want to think about negativity and neither do you. It's toxic. We share our happiest moments on Facebook and Instagram and then we all kind of forget that that's only half the picture.
Remember yesterday when I instagrammed a picture of my ugly smoothie? Did you know that I was running ten minutes behind for a meeting? Or that I put too much stevia in the smoothie and that it actually didn't even taste that good? No, you didn't. All you see is some cute running shoes and a healthy morning cocktail. After all, I want to inspire you, not bring you down!
The point is that everyone has problems and everyone gets jealous of everyone else's lives. Don't get me wrong--I'm beyond happy with my life and my career and I know how blessed I am to have found my passion. But promise me you won't read a healthy living blog or see a picture on Facebook and think, "Ugh, that girl has the best life." I promise you that the person you're admiring is battling their own demons. We all are.
It's okay to cry.
So what's a girl to do when things are looking blue? There are a few things I do to de-stress, my favorite of which is lighting a candle. It sounds simple, but there's something about the light, the warmth, and the aroma that melts my stress away. I look so forward to jumping under the covers, propping up a pillow, lighting a candle, and responding to all of your blog comments. Sounds lame, but I swear it lifts my mood!
Another thing I tend to lean towards when I need to unwind is chocolate. Salted almond dark chocolate, to be exact. Sometime you just need to #treatyoself. Grab a spoon and dig into some Jeni's ice cream or nosh on your favorite treat. If you're like me, then eating makes you happy. And eating good food makes you really happy.
Of note, I'm shoveling spoonfuls of Sunbutter in my face and listening to Chocolate (by The 1975) Pandora on repeat as I write this post. Happy times.
If snacking on dark chocolate in the candlelight doesn't do the trick, then try taking a bath and using an exfoliator. For whatever reason scrubbing dead skin away always makes me feel refreshed, and there's something relaxing about putting lotion on. Nothing like a good clean up and a warm towel to raise your spirits!
Lastly, try to appreciate life and remember what you have rather than the things or people you don't. Remember your favorite food, your fondest memories, your best friends, your passions. Remember what makes you truly happy. Realize that they're probably not "things;" they're probably people, passions, places, memories. Remember that everyone has ups and everyone has downs.
I already feel better after writing this post. For me, writing is a release. You guys are like my therapist. At the end of the day, you really just have to try your hardest to stay positive. What do you have if you don't have positivity?
Most importantly, remember that it's always okay to cry. And to eat all the dark chocolate.
Because no one is perfect and perfect is lame.
Alexis says
Thanks so much, Sharon!
Sharon @ Savormania says
This post was so touching and so nicely written, as all your posts are! I hope your dad is feeling better and that you had a wonderful holiday with the family!
Alexis says
Sugar-coating doesn't make anyone feel better! Thanks, girl.
Alexis says
Your comment seriously made my day. Thanks, Kate!
Alexis says
Thanks my love! I appreciate that!
Alexis says
You're so sweet! Thanks, Erin 🙂
Alexis says
Social media can be a huge perfection trap! Thanks for the kind words, Ann 🙂
Alexis says
Thank you, Nikki. That means a lot! No one likes a robot 🙂
Alexis says
What an inspirational quote. So true! Thanks, Anna 🙂
Alexis says
I'm glad it resonated with you, Georgia! XO
Alexis says
We always are taking care of everyone else and forgetting about ourselves!! We're important too! Take time for YOU 🙂 XO
Alexis says
We always are taking care of everyone else and forgetting about ourselves!! We're important too! Take time for YOU 🙂 XO
Alexis says
Thanks my dear! HORRAY for ice cream flavors besides mint chocolate 🙂
Alexis says
I'm so sorry to hear that, Claire. I really cannot imagine. Keep your head up, beautiful! Thanks for the sweet comment.
Alexis says
You're so sweet. That feels good to hear!
Alexis says
Thanks you, Shannon! I'm so glad it lifted your mood!
Alexis says
Thanks, Natalie! It's nothing a little dark chocolate and rest can't fix 🙂
Alexis says
Best friends make a HUGE difference! I love that.
Alexis says
You're so welcome, Georgie! You're too sweet 🙂 I love that you said my blog is "magnetic." That really is the ultimate complement.
Alexis says
Thanks my dear!
Alexis says
Youuuu are the sweetest. Thank you for the sweet comment, Tara!
Alexis says
Thank you, Nikkii! It definitely doesn't hurt hearing it again 🙂 You're so sweet.
Alexis says
Thanks, Anna. I love your tip about getting dressed up. It really does give you a boost!
Alexis says
Thanks a ton, Dixya! Cheers to chocolate 🙂
Alexis says
Hahaha best comment ever! Thanks, Allison!
Alexis says
Awwww seriously Sarah, you are so sweet. I always love reading your comments! They truly make my day 🙂
Alexis says
Thanks, my dear! Deep breaths really help 🙂
Alexis says
Thanks Nik 🙂 XO
Alexis says
Cheers to honesty!
Alexis says
Wow Giselle, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure that takes a huge toll on your mood. It can be so hard to put on a front when everything is crashing down behind the scenes. Take breaks--you need it. We all do.
Alexis says
Thank you, Emily! I really appreciate it.
Alexis says
Thanks, love.
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday says
Thinking of you and your family! I think sometimes we extend that the overwhelming positivity we display on social media into our lives - and that's generally a good thing - but that's also what prevents us from sharing our struggles with the people closest to us. Basically, we try to cultivate an image of perfection in all aspects of our lives, and that's so unnecessary. Yes, it's so okay to cry.
Alexis says
Thanks dear! Totally with you on cultivating a false image of perfection. Cheers to tears!
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday says
Thinking of you and your family! I think sometimes we extend that the overwhelming positivity we display on social media into our lives - and that's generally a good thing - but that's also what prevents us from sharing our struggles with the people closest to us. Basically, we try to cultivate an image of perfection in all aspects of our lives, and that's so unnecessary. Yes, it's so okay to cry.
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West says
Perfect is lame! I agree that we all like to see positive inspiration from the blogs we read and people we follow on social media, but we need to remember that's never the whole picture. I'm terribly sorry about the illness issues in your family and hope everything turns out okay. 🙁
Alexis says
Thanks so much, Ashley. I appreciate it!
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West says
Perfect is lame! I agree that we all like to see positive inspiration from the blogs we read and people we follow on social media, but we need to remember that's never the whole picture. I'm terribly sorry about the illness issues in your family and hope everything turns out okay. 🙁
Faith vandermolen says
Sorry to hear about your dad! I love your vulnerability...and that song Chocolate:)
Alexis says
Thanks, Faith! Chocolate is amazing. Both the real thing and the song.
Faith vandermolen says
Sorry to hear about your dad! I love your vulnerability...and that song Chocolate:)
Tara says
I love your blog and have consistently found it a great way to get motivated to be healthy. Your blog has inspired me to not only cook and eat real food, but also to not be so hard on myself and love who I am in the process. Some of your recipes are my "go to" weekly recipes when I'm feeling too tired, sad, or exhausted to cook. I hope you know that you are an inspiration and motivation to others and that maybe that can help you get through rough times. I'm so sorry about your family member and hope all is well soon.
Tara says
I love your blog and have consistently found it a great way to get motivated to be healthy. Your blog has inspired me to not only cook and eat real food, but also to not be so hard on myself and love who I am in the process. Some of your recipes are my "go to" weekly recipes when I'm feeling too tired, sad, or exhausted to cook. I hope you know that you are an inspiration and motivation to others and that maybe that can help you get through rough times. I'm so sorry about your family member and hope all is well soon.
Alexis says
Thank you SO much, Tara. That means a lot to me. I love that you've found some go-to's! That makes weekly meal prep so much easier. Thanks again for your uplifting comment!
Dick Stewart says
Prayers for you from South Carolina. Three years ago I was a father in the hospital and switched to a plant plant based nutrition plans afterward. Thank you for the helpful recipes and tips that make my new diet more enjoyable.
Dick Stewart says
Prayers for you from South Carolina. Three years ago I was a father in the hospital and switched to a plant plant based nutrition plans afterward. Thank you for the helpful recipes and tips that make my new diet more enjoyable.
Alexis says
Thanks, friend! I'm so glad you're enjoying the recipes 🙂
Alysia @ Slim Sanity says
Such a beautiful post! Hope and pray the health of your family gets better 🙂
Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health says
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Alexis. I hope everything turns out okay.
And I loved everything about this post. I can completely relate to how you feel about only showing the good. It's like we're expected to keep things authentic but also be positive all of the time and that's just not realistic. Crying is 100% okay.
You're in my thoughts, girly! xoxo
Alexis says
Thank you, Sarah! We are totally expected to be cheery all the time, aren't we?! It's not always easy. It's usually actually pretty tough. XO
Emily @SinfulNutrition says
Thoughts for you and your family during this difficult time. It's post like these that make the biggest impact in my opinion. Thanks for sharing your honesty...and that I'm not the only one who doesn't like mint chocolate chip ice cream. 🙂
Miss Polkadot says
If it wasn't for living on different continents I'd give you a hug now even though we don't 'know' each other. Hugs always help. They don't heal but yes, they comfort and help.
I liked your blog a lot already but in case that's possible it's your honesty here made me like it even more. Screw perfect - being real is what matters.
And to get back to that title: yes, it's absolutely okay to cry. Actually, I wrote a post with the very same title almost exactly a year ago. Crying is cleansing our souls and we can all do with a little cleanse of that sort every now and then. Sending good wishes and keeping my fingers crossed for your dad and the rest of your family! I hope life will be better again for all of you soon.
Alexis says
I would LOVE a hug from you, my dear! Hugs are the best medicine. Being real IS what matters. We all need a dose of reality here and there! Cheers to cleansing the soul with a tear or three.