I blog because I'm hungry and I'm hungry because I blog.
But really. I've been thinking about how amusing it would be to tell you guys how different life is on my side of the world. You see pretty pictures, yummy food, clean recipes, and some fluffy writing. But there I am on the other side trying to get coconut sugar out my hair while my not cheap camera is dangling a milimeter above the cream of broccoli soup that just so happens to be photographing poorly because it's too dark outside. At 11am. Oh the lovely life of a food blogger!
Let the confessing commence.
1. When you see me out on a Saturday night drinking a glass of vino, I want to talk about healthy recipe modifications about as much as you want to talk about filing your taxes. I eat, live, and breath food. Yes, I could talk your ear off about stuffing my face, but there is actually some substance to my life that doesn't involve eating. SHOCKING, I know.
2. My first name is Alexis, but I don't mind one bit when you call me Hummusapien. "Wait, are you the Hummusapien?" Hummusapien is like my alter-ego. The Sasha Fierce to my Beyonce. I think it's kind of funny. Whatever you do, just please don't call me Alexa.
3. I want to rip my eyelashes out when you tell me you substituted refined white flour for almond meal and that the muffins came out dry and disgusting. I do my best to hold in my frustration, but let's be real here. THOSE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. You just changed the recipe and blamed me for it tasting like cardboard.
4. The casual lunch pictures you see me post on Instagram are anything but casual. I probably took seventeen pictures, filtered the crap out of them, made half black and white because my hair looked bad, and then posted the best one. After I cropped it.
5. When you take the time to write a nice comment, it makes my day. My week. My month. Every comment that speaks to me goes straight to my mom and dad in an email with the subject "OMG I'm dying over this comment." Your supportive words mean much more to me than you'll ever know.
6. I get really, really jealous of other bloggers. Her pictures are so bright and clear! Her writing is hilarious! She's so purty! Comparison gets the best of me, and it's hard not to fall into that trap when I'm surrounded by such an incredible community of bloggers. But hey, I admitted it, and now I feel like 16% better.
7. I take thirty million pictures and you see approximately three of them. The three you see have been edited twelve times. And yes, my camera cost three car payments. Ouch.
8. When you leave an anonymous comment telling me you love my recipes but that I write like a three-year-old, I think about it all day long. I lose my appetite and feel really hurt, since I truly love to write and thought I was good at it. Then I eat some salted dark chocolate and get over it because you couldn't even leave your name.
9. When you see me at a social gathering, you don't have to feel pressured to ramble off the recipes you've made from my blog. You're by no means obligated to even mention the "H" word. In fact, I'd rather talk about the weather or something!
10. I don't eat cool food everyday. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to post "What I Ate Wednesdays" because lunch was an Amy's burrito and dinner was scrambled eggs. But then I post it anyway because that's real life and I know you can relate. YOLO.
11. I am obsessed with carbs. I don't eat balanced meals all of the time. Last night for dinner I had pasta with veggies followed by two big bowls of Love Grown cereal followed by popcorn followed by dark chocolate. Soooo.....balance?
12. I am technologically challenged. Have I ever told you that I have trouble turning the TV on? I take after my mother. The fact that I have a fully functional food blog is some kind of miracle.
13. Blogging takes an emotional toll on my life. Spending half of my only day off on this blog stresses me out sometimes. Then I remember that Hummusapien is the best thing that ever happened to me and I head to the kitchen and make banana bread.
14. While it may seem like I'm married to Humusapien and Alchemy, I'd actually love a hunky boyfriend that doesn't have a screen. Potential candidates can feel free to email me directly.
15. When you tell me that my little blog has made a difference in your life, I feel an unparalleled sense of fulfillment to which absolutely nothing else in my life can compare. I'll never stop loving you guys.
[Tweet "Admit it. You don't eat cool food ALL THE TIME. Confessions of a Food Blogger via @TheHummusapien"]
Angela says
This was such a touching and moving post! As a reader I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Alexis says
If you feel even half as warm and fuzzy and I do after reading all these wonderful comments, then I'm a happy girl 🙂
Angela says
This was such a touching and moving post! As a reader I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Heather says
I love and respect your honesty about blogging. You are clearly doing something you are passionate about and that is amazing!
Hayley@healthyregards says
I loved this post (:
Alexis says
I'm so glad!
Lindsey says
I LOVE everything about your blog-makes me laugh and inspires me to be healthy. You make being healthy seem exciting and fun. Although I have always tried to be healthy, I definitely love all of your wonderful encouragement. I just ordered the deodorant that you suggested in your natural body care post. I was beyond excited while reading that entire post. I am utterly obsessed with cacao powder in smoothies after reading your blog. Thanks for being amazing! <3
Shea says
I literally laughed out loud after reading #2 "Wait are you hummusapien?" I'm pretty sure that was exactly what I said to you when I met you at alchemy. But I can say that you are genuinely just as down to earth in person as you are in your blog! Your blog carries over my optimism from pinterest that makes me feel like I can be a good cook, but so far have only successfully tried 2 recipes which were both amazing! One of which was the quinoa Mediterranean salad at alchemy , by bite two I was already scrolling to your blog praying that you had it up! All in all your blog is great, thanks for inspiring!
Real Food with Dana says
I. LOVE. THIS. POST. Everything you said is SO unbelievably true. It's funny how having a blog can be stressful, especially when it's most of our outlets to relax and let our creative juices shine! Totally jealous of other bloggers. I want to know the things they know, the tricks they do, all of the THINGS that make them great!! Oh and most of the time I just wish I could've made that recipe before they did. Or somehow eat it through the screen. Because it looks freaking AWESOME.
Alexis says
Thanks a ton, Dana! I'm so glad you can relate. If I had a dime for every time I wanted to eat something through the screen I'd be a VERY wealthy chickpea.
Ally Kerns says
Okay, how about some confessions from one of your new readers.... I have never once commented on a blog EVER, this is my first time! Woo hoo. I stumbled across your blog through instagram jumping and somehow landed on your most recent ex boyfriend's page (Sounds crazy but ya know how you just jump from insta to insta and suddenly you're wishing you had your 30 minutes back?) Annnnyways, I thought you were too good for him. Did I just say that on the internet? 😉 I just know the best is yet to come for you!!! But, that's how I discovered your blog. And then I fell in love with it and you! (I've since made so many of your recipes and looooved them). I should also note that I was the farthest thing from a vegan. Now, I find myself loving plants, vegan recipes and even Wednesdays (just so I can come and check out what you ate on Tuesday)! Soooo how's that for confessions? I am a Cincinnatian, but we'd totally be friends if I lived in Columbus... I just know it! 🙂 Keep doing your thing girlfriend. You rock!
Alexis says
Ally, I can't begin to express how amazing I felt after reading you comment. First of all, look at you posting such a fab comment for your first comment ever! Wowza. That is SO hilarious that you ended up on my ex's page. A good number of people mentioned him in these comments, which I thought was so ironic. I wasn't expecting that, but hey, I'll take it 😉 You saying the best is yet to come is SUCH a breath of fresh air. Hallelujah! I love that you're loving plants. You should totally take a trip down to Cbus because I'd love to meet you. XOXO
Nik says
I love your blog! I have been following for years and have loved watching it grow and get better and better! It truly shocks me anyone would say you aren't a fabulous writer. They HAVE to be jealous because 75% of why I read your blog is how hilarious, witty, relatable, makes-me-feel-like-I'm-talking-to-a-friend your writing is. And if it makes you feel better, I totally envy YOU. I can't even believe someone as gorgeous, smart, talented, and trail-blazing could even compare to someone! Keep on, keeping on, I know your success will only grow!
Alexis says
Wow! How awesome that you've been following for years! I don't know how many of those people are out there 😉 I talk to you all like that because I legit feel like I'm talking to a friend. You guys ARE my friends!! Your comment made my day. Thank you, thank you, thank you. ALL MY LOVE. XO!!
Bethany says
Wonderful and refreshing! Thanks!
Alexis says
You're so welcome, Bethany!
Cat @ Breakfast to Bed says
Exactly.
Most of my negative comments say things like "I really like your blog, but you use the F word a lot."
Yes, and I'll probably never stop.
Abby says
This post (as yours always do) cracked me up. I love your humor and your writing style. So real and refreshing! Also, if I saw you at a party, I would definitely tell you about how I'm obsessed with your avocado black bean burgers. I'd probably say the word "life-changing" and it wouldn't at all be dramatic. But after gushing about that, we could talk about the weather for sure. #sorrynotsorry
Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health says
I love you. You're hilarious and entertaining so whatever coward wants to insult you for your writing can go F themselves. Life is too short to be serious all of the time and you get that and that's why you're awesome.
Thanks for me making me laugh and feel understood all at the same time. 🙂
Alexis says
I love yewwww! And I love most that you get how important it is to not be serious ALL THE TIME. Keep on laughing 🙂
Emily @SinfulNutrition says
Just compared myself to your blog after reading this post. Us bloggers stick together! And if you write like a 3 year old, I'm pretty sure my writing is still in the womb. Haters gunna hate, but I always think well if my blog is something worthy enough to be criticized, it must mean something right?
Yoojin says
this post... is. amazing.
thank you alexis for your wonderful and genuine voice for this blog! i love reading it & following you (and alchemy) on social media like a super fan girl.
i hope to visit alchemy one day and give you a hug and eat broccoli & hummus together (with hot sauce of course!) 🙂
Abby says
Just wanted to say your blog is one of my favorites, and I never miss a new post! I love how honest you are with your readers, and your passion for health and having fun is evident throughout your blog.
I've made several of your recepies, including both the healthy green bean casserole and flourless choclate chia cookies for Thanksgiving and they were both a hit! Keep doing what you do, you rock!
Aven says
Hi Alexis!
I am a relatively new reader but your blog has quickly become one of my favorites! I love your writing style. Your casual and hilarrrious 'voice' is one of the main things that keeps me reading! Keep up the honesty, comedy, and inspiration! Thank you for sharing real food and setting an example of true health.
Alexis says
Awww thanks so much, Aven! I honestly wasn't even sure if people read what I wrote, so thank you 🙂 It means so much!
Aven says
Hi Alexis!
I am a relatively new reader but your blog has quickly become one of my favorites! I love your writing style. Your casual and hilarrrious 'voice' is one of the main things that keeps me reading! Keep up the honesty, comedy, and inspiration! Thank you for sharing real food and setting an example of true health.
Kelly @ Eat the Gains says
This post is amazing and so accurate! Love you that keep it real because people should know it is not all rainbows and butterflies. I just starting blogging last week and seriously so much work goes into it! I don't know how you manage all that you do. I hope one day my blog is like 1/8 as inspiring as yours is. Keep up the good work!!
She Rocks Fitness says
OMG you are amazing-BALLS and I wish we could hang out devour carbs and wine and laugh about this kookie life we live as bloggers! You ROCK my world and thank you for being REAL...Happy Friday friend and love ya! XOXO
Alexis says
Can you please move here so we can eat all the carbs and wine in the same vicinity?! It would be so dreamy!!! Or maybe we should both move to Costco?
Hannah says
How could anyone possibly diss your writing? Your expressions are original, funny and totally relatable! Keep doing you.
Hannah says
How could anyone possibly diss your writing? Your expressions are original, funny and totally relatable! Keep doing you.
Alexis says
Thanks, Hannah! You rock my socks off.
Angela says
I love your blog so much and you seem like such a cool person, too. I pin so many of your recipes and when you mention a food product or recipe from another site that you love, I always check it out!
PS- I just ate two of your vegan chocolate banana muffins for a snack. Amazing. So, keep doing what you're doing. 🙂
Alexis says
Awww, thanks so much Angela! I feel all warm and fuzzy! Those muffins....YUM-O.
Hannah @ CleanEatingVeggieGirl says
I relate to every one of these, but #s 6, 7, and 13 definitely hit home. It's crazy sometimes when I think about how many hours each day go into CEVG. But those special moments and comments really do make it all worth it! And don't worry.. I feel like I compare myself to other bloggers and their photos at least once a day. It's hard to not do it... but I suppose it is simply a sign that we have high standards for ourselves. Whether that is good or bad, it shows that we care and that we are passionate about something. Passion is good!
Alexis says
Isn't it crazy? This blogging life is no joke--especially when you're balancing a full time job, too! Keep on doing what you do, girl!
jenni says
Alexis, you ARE totally and completely adorable and awesome --and I love your writings (you are very good at it--I've often thought, "she's so clever!!") -- there's always those mean people around (and they suck) -- but hopefully the voices of us who appreciate everything you do will always be louder!!! LOVE FROM SOUTH FLORIDA!!!
Alexis says
Jenni, you are tooooo sweet! For some reason I LOLed when you said "love from south florida!!" I think we could easily be besties.
Robyn @thereallife_RD says
1, 6 and 8 and ESPECIALLY 1
When I am out at a bar with friends I will do anything and everything to NOT tell people I'm an RD.
Because when people start asking for health advice I want to look at them and be like, "ummm, I am not at work, please don't make me be"
LOVE THIS AND YOU!
Erica {Coffee & Quinoa} says
You are hilarious and I love this! I feel like you always do a good job of being candid on your blog, and this just takes it up a notch. Have a great weekend my dear!
Alexis says
Weeee thanks, Erica!! I'm glad you can appreciate me being a bit candid 🙂 All my love!
Lauren says
Yay this is so funny and honest. I think everyone whether they blog or not does the same with photos and selfies on IG and such-> thirty million taken, 3 edited 12x, haha. I also love the I look like crap so let's make it B&W trick. You rock!
Alexis says
Glad to know I'm not the only one!! Thanks so much, Lauren 🙂
Nikki says
This is perfect! You are such an inspiration for me and SO many others. I started praying each morning that I will positively impact at least one person that day.. it must feel good for you to know that you might be positively impacting hundreds of people! Look at you, changing the world, one chickpea at a time. Love ya to the moon.
Alexis says
Awwww shucks!! Thanks, Nik! That's so sweet that you pray each morning to have a positive impact. You're making a huge difference every day you teach! (And on snow days, you're making a huge difference in our apartment's cleanliness 🙂 XO
Elle says
Lex I love this- you are the best and I am so proud of you!! xoxo
Michelle says
Out of all of the healthy food blogs I follow yours is truly my favorite. There is no way you write like a 3 year old, your style of writing is one of the things that appeals to me, I feel like you're talking to us, that is what makes it interesting! I have been a clean eater for a few years now and due to some pretty severe stomach issues, forced into veganism, so I started surfing the net for some help. I also make my own health recipes but sometimes you need some help, know what I mean? So thank you for caring about this so much that you share it with others, thank you for pushing through and not giving up when people can be mean, thank you for changing lives. Keep up the good work!
Meghan says
LOVE this post and your blog. Your writing is funny and refreshing and never annoying which cannot be said about every food blog I read. Keep on keeping on!
Millie says
Love this post! Your recipes are delish. Your postings are always entertaining, informative, and honest. Don't sweat the haters. You do not write like a 3 year old. Really? What do they want, Shakespear? Its a contemporary blog, for cryin' out loud! Chalk it up to them being negative....or having a really bad day. You are terrific. Keep it up!
April says
love you - for everything you pour into this blog and who you are as a person. and no surprise, you're my favorite food blogger of all time. AND you helped me foster a healthy relationship with my kitchen... and with food and with myself. it's a constant process but you've been a huge part of it. you're amazing and i love this post.
Rebecca @BeTrulyNourished says
This is great! Totally not written by a 3 year old unless they've already gone through college & are snarky (in such a great way!) I stupidly feel like I'm the only food blogger who gets all caught up in the blog & worrying about how controversial post will be received. But who freaking cares! Some will like it others can just go suck it! Your blog is wonderful & you're obviously doing something (ok a lot of things) really right!
Rebecca @BeTrulyNourished says
This is great! Totally not written by a 3 year old unless they've already gone through college & are snarky (in such a great way!) I stupidly feel like I'm the only food blogger who gets all caught up in the blog & worrying about how controversial post will be received. But who freaking cares! Some will like it others can just go suck it! Your blog is wonderful & you're obviously doing something (ok a lot of things) really right!
Alexis says
Hahaha love it, Rebecca! You're definitely not the only one that gets caught up in the insanity that is blogging. XO
Anna says
One time I commented on a recipe facebook post of yours and you commented back something kind and I fangirled very hard for at least a week
Alexis says
Hahahah legit LOLed at this one. I'm so glad that you fangirled and fangirled hard 😉
Anna says
One time I commented on a recipe facebook post of yours and you commented back something kind and I fangirled very hard for at least a week
Julie says
I don't always comment, but I always read! Your posts are some of my favorite. And I can only hope my three-year-old turns out to be as funny and witty as you are 😉 <3
Alexis says
Thanks for commenting, Julie!! I appreciate it so much!
Julie says
I don't always comment, but I always read! Your posts are some of my favorite. And I can only hope my three-year-old turns out to be as funny and witty as you are 😉 <3
Christen says
Alexis- I absolutely love reading your blog posts each week! I happen to LOVE your writing and your recipes. I have learned soooooo much from you about eating healthy. Quite honestly, I had never heard of almond meal and coconut oil until Carrie and I decided to try some of your recipes and ended up wandering around Trader Joe's for 30 minutes attempting to find everything on our list!! Keep doing what you're doing! One of these days I hope to make it to Columbus to sample all of the yummy things you have at Alchemy. XO
Alexis says
Awww I'm beaming, Christen! You have no idea how happy that makes me! I'm so proud that I helped you discover the magicalness that is coconut oil and almond meal 🙂 You have to come visit sometime!!
Erin @ The Almond Eater says
I absolutely love this--so incredibly relatable. Especially #6...I was just thinking about how when you spend at least half your day reading other blogs/on social media, it's nearly impossible not to feel that way sometimes!
Alexis says
Fabulous!! That's so true--social media is taking over the world!
Sam says
This is why I love your blog! You seem real and so down to earth. The fact that you are jealous of other bloggers' looks blows my mind - you're gorgeous! But I get it. I'm a girl and I do the same thing. Keep up the honesty and the balance - it's refreshing.
Alexis says
Thank yo SO much, Sam! You're too sweet 🙂 I'm glad to be a breath of fresh air!
Maryea {happy healthy mama} says
I love this post. I relate to so much of it. Especially #12. It takes me HOURS to figure out the smallest tweak to my blog. Which is why it takes months to change anything at all.
Alexis says
Right?! Thank God I'm not the only one who knows next to nothing about technology 😉
Julie says
This post was everything I needed. I have a fledgling blog and am fairly certain I'm doing it all wrong most of the time because everyone else is doing this or that, with better pictures, and prettier hair. You're a total inspiration (so much so I blogged about your blog the other day) and can't get enough of your posts. Thanks for confessing, it made my day! 🙂
courtney says
well, as a new reader (as of the last couple months), i'll let ya know that i adore your blog!!! (and can't believe you're jealous of others! seriously, you are gorgeous, smart, and-- to us, getting jealous of youuuu :)-- seem to have it all together!) keep rockin' it, girl! xx
Kate says
Haha, I loved this! You're amazingly talented and I always read your posts entirely. Keep doing your thing, because you go it!
Lauren says
And this is why I love your blog. Honest, refreshing and makes me chuckle. There are plenty of hunky singles over in Sydney - I will send them your way... Although they may just chew your ear off with the paleo nonsense they LOVE over here, so maybe I will find one who loves a chickpea or two 😉
Liz S. says
Always love that you keep it real (and funny) on your blog!
Dixya @ Food, Pleasure, and Health says
that's exactly why i come to your blog because i can relate a lot being a dietitian/food blogger/and someone who has a life besides this. thanks for keeping it real dear.