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Blueberry Banana Hemp Muffins

June 22, 2014

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They think they’re just innocent little nanner muffins studded with bluebs but they ain’t foolin’ NOBODY.

We see right through yewwwwwwww.

Do normal nanner muffins pack a whopping seven grams of protein and five grams of fiber? Errrmmmmm no.

No normal nanner muffins have hemp seeds and flax seeds and oats, oh my? Oh and do they legit taste like the best nanner muffins you’ve ever laid mouth on? I think not.

True story. The other day my dad asked me if hemp was the same thing as marijuana. WAIT–what? I loled. Frankly, it was less of a question and more him looking for confirmation. Yes father, I made weed muffins for you. After a quick google search, I discovered that hemp and Mary J come from the same plant, cannavis sativa. The difference lies in its use. Apparently industrial hemp grows differently (and in different areas) than the THC-producing plants intended for recreational use.

So sorry, these muffins won’t make you high…but they will make you healthy! Have I talked too much about hemp and too little about my neurotic frozen blueberry stash? I think so.

Another true story. The other day I bought a humongous bag of frozen blueberries at Target on sale for $10 because I’m sick of having to go to Whole Foods twice a week for the itty bitty bags. Considering I have the same chocolate blueberry smoothie for breakfast like every day and thus eat a cup of blueberries every morning without fail, it’s simply not economically logical to buy the little bags. So now I have enough blueberries to open a blueberry store. Enter the banana muffins that became blueberry banana muffins.

Everything leaves my kitchen blueberry flavored.

I cannot wait to have a Costco membership and buy huge bags of alllllll the things. And maybe a water tower full of almond milk.

While we’re on the topic of weird ingredients, let’s discuss spelt. Spelt isn’t all that weird at all. It’s essentially a totally under-rated whole grain that’s been around for thousands of years. In addition to tasting more mild, nutty and sweet than wheat, it actually requires less pesticides as well. While spelt creates a bit of a lighter final product, spelt and whole wheat are fairly similar nutritionally. Spelt does have a lower glycemic index than wheat however, meaning it doesn’t cause a spike in your blood sugar as quickly. I buy spelt flour in the bulk bins at Whole Foods. I like to switch up my grains, so spelt it is! Adding almond meal also makes a super moist product that’s lower in carbohydrates and higher in protein. Cue the ooohs and ahhhs of my carb-hating hashtag paleo friends!

Even though hemp is in the name of these muffins, you can easily make these muffins without the hemp seeds if you don’t have any on hand. They’ll be lower in protein and you won’t be high on life, but the flavor and texture will say the same.

Cheers to eating all the blueberries.