"I was fully expecting to get a meal plan and be sent on my merry way. Thank you for not doing that.""I've stopped tracking food entirely. It's been scary, but freeing. I cannot tell you how much you helped me in the short time we met."
The majority of the clients I see don't come to me looking to simply eat healthier. They suffer from disordered eating. They don't know how to enjoy food anymore. They're in remission and need a post-cancer guidance. They have diabetes. They have a leaky gut.
A lot of people started out on this journey loving "healthy" food just a little too much. Loving it so much that it becomes all they think about. Loving it so much that it no longer loves them back. Loving it so much that they forget who they are. That it becomes who they are.
Imagine thinking less about food and more about the things that make you want to jump out of bed in the morning. What makes you truly, wholeheartedly excited about life? Because I'm willing to bet that counting carrot sticks doesn't do it for you.
Despite the stress that sometimes feels like it may get the best of me, the main reason I love my job with Alchemy is because I find so much meaning in it. Let's delve into "meaning" for a second.
I don't talk about my day to day life in the restaurant industry often, but largely that's what it is---the restaurant industry. It's not sitting around dreaming of new menu items and slamming smoothie bowls. Sure, that happens on occasion. But more often than not, it's making sure the fridge gets fixed, negotiating costs with distributors, figuring out product labels, planning logistics of new concepts, overseeing operations, managing tons of different personalities, keeping people happy, and acting like I have all my shit together when I'm just as lost as everyone else. In short, it isn't easy and it sure as hell isn't glamorous. I knew that when I signed up for this gig.
Do I find meaning in all that? Of course. We're serving delish food that nourishes people from the inside out. I'm proud that Alchemy is improving the health of not only this community, but also this planet. But all in all, our mission of intersecting health care and food is one of the aspects I cherish most. Nutrition counseling plays a big role in my motivation to keep doing what I do in this industry.
Do I jump out of bed with excitement when I read an email from a reader who tells me she's finally beginning to recover from her eating disorder after our last appointment? You bet. And that's what I need to talk to you about today.
Nutrition counseling isn't a formula. Plugging in height and weight and gender to spit out the number of calories someone should be eating in a day isn't going to help most people. Even if someone isn't dealing with an eating disorder, I know that giving them a calorie goal isn't going to solve their weight management issues. Anyone that knows me, this blog, and my overall philosophy knows that I never have and never will count calories. Why would I recommend my clients do something I'd never do myself? Calorie counting doesn't deserve the huge chunk of your heart that so many people are giving it. What has counting calories done for you lately other than drive you insane?
I recently met with a lovely lady who was preparing for a fitness competition. She was eating 975 calories a day (which she was told she had to in order to get down to size) and working out vigorously. She thought she looked great but of course felt miserable. She was deathly afraid of eating anything besides protein pancakes, spaghetti squash, zucchini, and chicken. She knew if she didn't follow a strict routine, she'd go off the deep end. After the competition, she gained back all the weight she'd lost over a year in a matter of weeks. She was imprisoned by food. It was all she thought about. Now she doesn't know how to eat. How could she?
So she came to me expecting a meal plan. Eat this many calories a day. Don't eat fewer than this many grams of protein. Be a robot. Be a prisoner.
Before I get torn to pieces in the comments, I'm aware that some people do need some form of structure as part of their progression toward food freedom. That's great! I by no means intend to offend anyone that has benefitted from meal plans. But I have to be honest when I say that 90% of the time, I don't see the need. (I'm not referring to "meal plans" that are simply recipes for weekly inspiration. If it's inspiring you, it's not a problem!)
I believe in falling in love with food again. In making your own choices. In counting colors, not calories. Me telling you exactly what to eat and when will not only fail to help you in the short term, it may even hurt you in the long run. Until you're empowered to make your own food decisions, you will not be free. You will not be your best self and you will surely not live your most vibrant life.
More people than we realize are still counting everything they eat. It's an epidemic. I met with a focus group of college women last week and they casually asked if the nutrition information for a new concept we're working on will be posted on the menu. I confirmed that it would be. One of the girls replied, "Phew! I literally count every calorie. I hate not knowing what I'm eating."
Lately I've noticed that social media is dictating food choices far more than I realize. Sugar-free, fruit-free everything is the new black. Since one person suffers from a slew of health problems that resulted in needed a low-sugar diet, several other people (who are probably perfectly healthy and totally tolerant to these things) are hopping on the bandwagon. Their followers, in turn, now feel guilty for putting fruit in their smoothies. "I wish I could stop eating fruit but I'm so addicted." I could cry.
When did Instagram start replacing credentialed health care professionals?! When did it become cool to base your intake on some random person online rather than your own body? There is a very fine line between inspiring others to be healthier and fear mongering. Are we creating an environment that breeds disordered eating without even realizing it?
Have we stripped the joy out of eating, out of wondering? Out of enjoying a croissant and coffee at the Farmer's Market without feeling the burning desire to locate it in some database and log its calories? It has become so commonplace that people don't realize it's abnormal.
You are more than a meal plan. You are not 1,200 calories a day. You are not 12 almonds for a snack and you sure as hell aren't a cup of zucchini noodles with a meatball for dinner. Do not let numbers and serving sizes define you. Do not live your life by tracking something that is not supposed to be tracked. By not cherishing something that's supposed to be cherished.
It's time to start loving yourself as much as you love others. Don't do to your own body what you wouldn't do to that of your best friend.
I'm well aware that you can't snap your fingers and make food freedom a reality, so I've laid out some stepping stones below!
RESOURCES:
This is easier said than done. If you obsess over food and struggle with eating on a daily basis, please seek help. I guarantee that it will change your life!
My friends Robyn, Anne, Alex, and Rachel are also amazing resources for learning a mindful, happy approach to eating.
Remember, it's food. It's just food. Please don't let kale dictate your life. You deserve all the joy and none of the stress that food can bring. Break up with counting whatever you're counting. I'll have a really handsome donut waiting when you're ready to move on!
Burr says
My husband likes to remind me that "Happiness is part of healthiness."
I often forget...
Samantha says
I just really love your heart and thoughts being poured out in this post Alexis! I am not saying that counting calories are bad habit to do, but sometimes you need to draw the line on when you can indulge and enjoy food. Personally, it's a matter of how you discipline yourself on taking alternative food (if you really want to stick with your calorie count routine) and if you will be cheating or skipping the habit (as they say it), being responsible should always come to play.
It's sad to hear stories from post cancer patients, diabetecs, and those who have metabolic disease whose identity and freedom on food choices became limited. I think they just need a lot of help that they can get to enjoy the pleasure of eating. But for those that are blessed with health, all I can say is "Food are meant to be enjoyed" so sometimes you just need to give in to your desires.
marti @fitwithheart says
i love love love LOVE this - food is just food and should be seen as fuel. it shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself...or not good enough - so much FALSE information out there- i appreciate you sharing this!!
Jessica says
This post is everything! I have definitely been noticing the fear mongering and low-sugar, fruit-free everything and its bit scary! Especially when these people have such huge followings and don't even realize what they could potentially be triggering for some people. Definitely a way to present it without making people feel guilty. So, so well said, thank you for this!
Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health says
PREACH sister. I'm so glad you took the time to write this. So many people (mostly women) are torturing themselves over what they eat and it's just not necessary. I get comments all of the time on my recipes about macros and calories..I'm like what the hell is a macro?! lol. I just focus on eating as many whole foods as possible (with the occasional cocktail and donut because YOLO) and trying to stay active. I don't count anything and I don't weigh myself either. Life is so much easier that way!
Stephen Ozsungur says
The intentions of the article contain a very positive message with an unfortunate lack of real solution. Ultimately at the end of the article the soft and comforting undertone turn into a brilliant advertisement for mindful eating programs (from what I'm guessing is being promoted)
A more thought out article on the pros and cons of calorie counting come from PN.
Anyone who came across this article and doesn't share the empowering perspective of calorie and macro counting will find this an absolutely excellent resource:
https://www.precisionnutrition.com/calorie-control-guide
Alexis says
Hi Stephen,
Thanks for your comment. To be frank, I find your words pretty insulting. I cannot cure someone of an eating disorder and provide an immediate solution in a blog post, and that was far from my intention. The point was to stress that there IS hope out there and to encourage so many of my readers that I know are struggling to seek help. People are not aware of the wonderful resources out there, which yes, include my own counseling services and those of my dear RD friends that specialize in intuitive eating. Precision Nutrition is not written by registered dietitians, the health professionals whom I recommend for this kind of treatment and any other personalized nutrition counseling for that matter.
Amanda Leendertse RD says
Thank you so much for writing this. ?? This is so needed in our diet-obsessed world. Food should = joy, not a number you add up at the end of the day.
Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious says
OMG thank you! I literally have clients all the time eating way to low. Yesterday I had one come to me who's been eating 1300 calories and can't figure out why she can't lose anymore weight. She told me she was going to lower her calories further. I was like NO!!!! You're doing so much damage to your body, not to mention who wants to live that way? Seriously, I lost 80 pounds by walking, watching portions and eating healthier. I don't understand how there is so much bad information out there, but it does frustrate me how much value people put into everything they read online without ensuring it's coming from a medical professional. Social media has definitely made getting the right information out there more challenging!
Sam @ Hygge Wellness says
Great post, Alexis! I'm working with my clients on the same mindset -- I can't help them count or plan calories not only because I'm not a dietician (I'm a Certified Health Coach), but because I don't believe in it either. It's more about helping people find the confidence and motivation to prioritize themselves & nourish their bodies in the best way possible (as you said!). I lose a lot of potential clients because of it, but it's really what I believe.
Also, I couldn't help but think of a very popular duo from California who, in addition to inspiring women to be active, I think create a lot of disordered eating, body image obsession, and an extreme focus on before/after transformations. I can't help but want to intervene and shout, "there's an easier, gentler way!"
Kelly Jones says
Excellent post! I teach a few classes at a local college and this semester after covering evidence based research and scope of practice, I decided to have my studies do an activity where they found IG "health experts" and research their backgrounds. They had to indicate 5 of their top hashtags used, if most of their pics were of their bodies, and if they gave advice that promoted over exercise and restriction. I had awesome feedback from those who chose non-credentialed accounts but was SO happy that many of them found legit RDs (including you!) for the activity and discussed how the message was different than other accounts we follow. The more us RD's fill the IG & blog space with positive food messages, the less klout the others will have. So happy RDs have people like you and Kylie with so many followers! 🙂
Sarah says
Your blog along with the other women you mentioned has helped me come so far in my eating disorder recovery. I have struggled with anorexia for 6 years, but finally decided to trust my dietitian and all you beautiful, strong women in August last year. My life is so so much better. I no longer restrict, but I am still working on not worrying about calories. I like what you said about counting colors not calories, I think that is a wonderful mindset.
dixya | food, pleasure, and health says
i work in clinical + food service environment too which is heavily dominated by food service and hear all your struggles...as much as i want to encourage people to head to the salad bar and listen to their body, majority of the time is juggling vendor emails, cost, and work request on broken steamer..im so glad you spoke up about the strict meal plan and fear that people have on eating food, which makes me sad + angry, as always it is sooo refreshing to read a passionate post!
Elin says
This is 100% right and beyond. I've followed your blog for years by now and you keep on inspiring me. Love and greetings from Sweden 🙂 xx
AEL says
I will preach it with every breathe I have: The Gabriel Method. If you are looking for food freedom but don't know where to start, start here. You can get the book for free from the library. It might lead to counseling (it did for me). But it will start a thought process that will change your life. My body is my best friend now, and I HATED it for so long.
Anna says
Alexis, I literally just got chills reading this! I'm a college student actually hoping to someday become an eating disorder dietitian based on the battles I have seen my own friends and sister fight. I have struggled with obsessing over healthy eating and tried calorie counting in the past, but I've found it only makes me feel beat up inside and imprisoned to food. Love that you mentioned the college girls you met with were consumed with calorie counts too - I work at a salad restaurant where I've seen girls look at the dressing menu and make remarks to their friends about "how many calories it has." Can't we just enjoy a wholesome meal without wondering how many micro-units of energy are entering our bodies? Okay but anyway, thank you SO much for this post! Can't wait to share 🙂
Rachael@AvocadoADayNutrition says
This is everything and so are you! When I was at Trader Joe's this morning, I was chatting with the woman at the checkout counter and told her I was a dietitian. Which of course was followed with, "So you tell people what they can and can't eat?" Gahhhh...you would think having been asked this a million times I would have a good stump speech about it already! Thanks so much for the shout out love!!
Laura @ Surviving 21 says
Thank you so, so much for this. I am so supportive of your outlook on nutrition and thankful there are positive influences like you out there. Lots of love!
Erin says
Funny enough, I just wrote a blog post about this last week (check out: https://peanutbutterandhappy.blogspot.com/2017/02/the-problems-with-social-media-what-i.html). I think that we have come to rely on social media to tell us what we can and cannot eat instead of listening to our bodies, and it is slowly killing us. It is making people tumble into the dark hole of eating disorders because we come to believe that bananas are bad for you because of all the sugar, and all of the products should be $10+ at Whole Foods. First of all, I am a college student and don't have the budget to be buying these products, and secondly, no one should be basing their diets on other people. What is most important is listening to your body and giving it what it needs and can digest. I think that if we want to decrease the prevalence of eating disorders in our society, we need to learn how to disconnect from what people on social media are telling us, and listen to our bodies and people who are certified to teach about nutrition. I love this post so much!
Casey the College Celiac says
Girl, this is one of my favorite blog posts of yours. SO TRUE and such an important mindset for more people to adopt. I love Instagram, but Instagram shouldn't make me guilty about my food choices or replace a doctor!
Marina @ A Dancer's Live-It says
"Sugar-free, fruit-free everything is the new black." You are so right, and I don't know what else to say but THANK YOU.
jordan @ dancing for donuts says
thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this post. it's hard not to kick yourself for not eating one thing or another when you see so many people's meals and lifestyle choices on social media every minute of every day. nutrition is so individual and personal, we need to remember that we have the right and ability to choose what is best for US.
Erin says
This post is absolutely perfect. When I began studying nutrition/dietetics at a university, I was so deep in the disordered eating mindset. I think I was trying to find the "secret" to being successful in being "healthy," only to have my whole world turned around and realize that being healthy is so much more than trying to figure out how to stay feeling full on the fewest number of calories. With everything I've learned this far in my studies and applying the knowledge to my own life, I can say that I finally have a healthy relationship with food and that free feeling with making food choices is completely life changing. It's experiences like these and all the reasons you so eloquently articulated that inspire me to want to help others find joy in eating again too.
Kelsey says
I couldn't agree more! Like others, during my eating disorder treatment and recovery I was always on a highly structured meal plan, but never learned to transition off. Even in recovery I have trouble with spontaneity in my eating- I still have the idea in my head that every meal needs to have a protein, a vegetable, a carb. But sometimes you go out and eat pizza with not a vegetable in sight or sometimes you just want a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. I wish I had been transitioned off of meal plans sooner before they got so engrained!
Emilie @ Emilie Eats says
I am SO SO lucky to {virtually} know someone as caring, compassionate & honest as you. You have helped me through my own journey in more ways than I can count (including blessing us with curried chickpea salad). Keep on being so amazingly awesome!
ACKTIVE LIFE says
Always love reading these posts that you write with so much passion, dedication, and inspiration! They are a great reminder to all of us that we are so much more than a meal plan, calories counted, and trying to live up to the pressures of society. Thank you for the reminder friend...You are the BEST! XOXO
Beth says
I used to struggle with a lot of the things that you mentioned here. I was given a meal plan when I was in recovery for my eating disorder years ago and, like you said, it was helpful at the time but also extremely hard to let go of that structured meal plan mentality when it was time for me to trust myself and learn to eat intuitively. I am in a much better place now and am able to honor my hunger/not judge my worth based on how much I ate or didn't eat that day/not count calories, etc., and it's heartbreaking for me now to look back at how I used to be and also how so many women are today, viewing food (which is ESSENTIAL to our SURVIVAL) as wrong and shameful and something to be feared. It blows my mind. Thankful for you and the other dietitian rockstars you mentioned and how you continue to speak truth into the lies our society tells about food.
Bilyana says
Yes!! Thank you for sharing this positive, much-needed message!!
Sarah @ Bucket List Tummy says
Love your philosophy and I hope hope that the people who need to hear it do! And counting colors is totally the way to go 🙂
Michelle says
I love all of this so much! People like you make me so pumped to (one day) be an RD 🙂
Maria Novajosky says
There is so much wisdom in this. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is to fix a delicious meal for friends who then pick at the food because they are worried about calories. Or meeting friends for lunch -- in a great restaurant -- and everyone orders a lettuce leaf after spending an inordinate amount of time studying and comparing menu items to find the item that would fit into their diet. I for one am going to enjoy that croissant at the Farmers Market, I will have a glass of wine with dinner, I will go for a walk and then stop to purchase a gelato.
Leah says
You are truly the best!!!!! Yes yes yes to everything you wrote.
Bri says
Thank you so much for writing this post.
I am 4 years in recovery from an eating disorder, and while a rigid meal plan helped me to get where I am in my recovery today I am now trying to learn how to let go of the rules and the counting and requirements that once served me. It is especially hard to let go of the meal plan mentality and progress toward "normalized" and intuitive eating when you realize that "normal" people do not know how to eat intuitively. We all are brainwashed by all of these dieting rules that we don't even know how to enjoy food without guilt or actually listen to our bodies (myself included!) But this post inspired me to keep fighting for what I believe in so I wanted to say thank you 🙂
Natalie says
I can't thank you enough for this post. I have been a member of a vegan meal-planning service for the last 3 years and have a totally messed up relationship with food because of it. The plan was very restrictive and focused heavily on counting calories and intermittent fasting. I finally canceled my account and am eating a more intuitive plant-based diet. I have a long way to go, but am already feeling better. Thank you for everything you do!
Elle says
Thanks. Seriously. I stopped counting calories sometime around the holidays (it just...happened?...I was too distracted by fun life events to even care) and my life is so much more free. A dinner party doesn't send me over the edge and out for a run to "work it all off." I just wish some of my friends could grasp that eating enough and not dieting is the key to sustainable 'healthy' (What even is healthy.) living. So, really. Thanks for putting these vibes out into the universe.
Meg B says
Sustainable living ! Love that and love this post Alexis!
Anastacia says
I love the idea and the philosophy, I just don't know if it's possible for all of us to internalise it... or how much work it takes to get there. I'm not lazy, far from it - I just don't know how.
I'm definitely gonna check out the resources you suggested. But in honesty, I think the joy in food has been long absent for me. Cooking, I enjoy. Eating? It's just stressful, forever stressful.
It's a tough realisation to come to that my relationship with food has never been healthy, so I don't even have a framework to model on.
But nonetheless, it gives me some hope and a small smile to know that this approach works for you, and you've guided others to success with it.
Ale says
I REALLY recommend those resources. I personally love reading Kylie's blog (look at today's awesome post: https://immaeatthat.com/2017/02/21/when-exercise-isnt-good/) and Robin's. When I stopped enjoying food, I also lost some hope on me (and my life in a certain way, I just felt I would never be 'normal' with food again) and those blogs really helped me to feel better about myself and my own journey.
Ann says
I needed this today. Thank you.
Dietitian Jess says
High five emojis back to back to back. I definitely have a very similar philosophy and refuse to make any of my clients meal plans- because what are they going to do when the meal plan is up?? Eating needs to be sustainable long term which is why Whole 30 and so many other fad diets don't work. PREACH girl, preach!
Erin says
I truly admire your approach to eating and food and hope to get there myself one day. Thank you for this excellent reminder that food is just food!
Arman @ thebigmansworld says
This girl.
I am retracting my letter to Eileen complaining about all your faults. You are golden, like a beet.