It’s 2016 and everyone has their panties in a bunch over broccoli and kale smoothies and superfood salads and such.
Just like that, you have to wait three years for a treadmill at the gym. Like did eighty seven new people just sign up today?
Happy New Year!!!! This machine is taken.
It’s the fourth day of January. You are hereby obliged to trade in your cookies for collard greens and eggnog for egg whites. Potatoes are so November.
I’m only kidding, you silly garbanzo beans you! While everyone else is going ham on raw cruciferous vegetables dipped in low-sodium salt water, I’m over here slamming curried chickpea salad, avocado bean burgers, and apple oatmeal bars. Creamy, salty, sweet, amazing things.
You see, the beauty of eating tasty, healthy food on a regular basis sprinkled with wholesome (and some not so wholesome) treats here and there is that you never feel deprived. Thus, you never feel the need to do the d-word.
So essentially when the new year rolls around and kale comes knocking, you can hibernate in your new Target joggers (I think I’ve worn them every day for a week) with a mug of almond milk hot cocoa and be all like KALE WHOOOO?!
Now let’s get something straight here. I don’t really think of these as a “guilt-free” substitute for potatoes. I think of them as a scrumptious new way to enjoy cauliflower.
I love and appreciate potatoes for who they are in all their starchy glory. While I don’t deem them an unhealthy food by any means, I know I have many carb conscious readers out there. If y’all want to consider this recipe a lower-carb potato alternative, you have my blessing!
If you want to love and adore this for being the creamy dreamy cauliflower mashed heaven on a plate that it is, I’m gonna be right there with ya, forkin’ away till the cows come home.
THEY’RE SO FLUFFY I’M GONNA DIE.
- 2 medium heads cauliflower, chopped into florets
- 2 bulbs garlic
- 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
- 1 cup unsweetened almond milk
- 2 tbsp vegan buttery spread (I used Earth Balance organic whipped), melted
- 1 tsp salt
- Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
- ½ cup chopped green onions
- Preheat oven to 375F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or spray with cooking spray.
- Place florets in an even layer on baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and lightly toss to coat.
- Chop just the top off of the unpeeled whole bulbs of garlic so they still hold their shape. Rub the exposes heads with a bit of olive oil. Wrap each bulb in tin foil and set on baking sheet with cauliflower.
- Bake for 35 minutes, stirring cauliflower halfway through cooking time.
- Allow cauliflower to cool slightly. Remove garlic cloves from bulb (they should be soft and very easy to remove from skin).
- In a large food processor, blend together roasted garlic, cauliflower, milk, melted butter, salt and pepper until smooth and mashed potato-like. Season with more salt and pepper to taste.
- Fold in chopped green onions and serve.