On Entremanureship

No, that's not a typo. I made it up just now on the plane. Entremanureship. Like manure. Because running a business can be really shitty sometimes.

And totally amazing, too! Running a business is kind of like eating raw kale. 

It's not always easy and it's not always what you actually want, but you know it's the right thing to do. When you give it TLC, it's totally delish and nourishing. But sometimes when you step back and look at the bigger picture, you remember that kale is freaking hard and sometimes you only eat it because you know you should. 

You don't always have the time or energy or desire to give it TLC. Sometimes you want to throw your hands in the air and say screw kale, I'm gonna go eat truffle fries. Truffle fries are easy. Truffle fries don't require thought and hard work. You don't have to do anything to make them better, to make them grow. They're ready to eat. They may give you the warm and fuzzies, but it's temporary. You don't eat them everyday because they don't challenge you. Kale is a constant because kale is hard and all the best things in life are.

Anyone that says he or she is running a business or chasing a dream or working their butt off and not majorly struggling in some (or all) aspects of their life is lying to you.

Everyone took a crappier picture before the version you saw on Instagram. Everyone looks at someone else and thinks, "Wow. She's amazing. He's doing so well. I wish I could do that." Everyone. Everyone wants to change something about themselves in some way---their attitude, their motivation, their work ethic, how many times a week they call their mom, their thought process, their pointy elbows (or is that just me?).

It's all about perspective. There are people that see your life and would kill to wake up in a bed inside of a house on a quiet street in a state that's not at war. There are people that go on TV everyday and have thirty nine coaches telling them what to say and eat and wear and breathe that would kill to be invisible for five minutes.

There are people that act like they have it all figured out because there's enormous societal pressure to have the answers, to be a role model, to do it the right way at the right time, to be moral, to move on, to get married, to have children, to send thank you notes, to eat kale, to write in a way that makes everyone happy, to be politically correct, to put other people's needs above your own, to keep up with every new responsibility our cell phones are taking away from us. 

To be kale when you just want to be a truffle fry. 

I've been struggling lately. I've found it difficult to stay motivated. I love what I do but I find myself not wanting to do it. I watched more TV last week than I have in the past six months. All I've wanted to do is sit on the couch.

Maybe it was the election. Maybe it's the rapidly growing stress of my professional future. I'm really not a big crier, but I cried several times this week. I cried for the hate, for the sick, sick people that live in this country and the victims of their antics. I cried because I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I cried because I'm the person expected to have the answers and lately all I have is questions.

From someone who looks like they have their shit together, I so don't. And the degree of my aloofness is actually kind of funny. I lose something valuable every day. Keys, wallet, almond butter, phone, mind, you name it. It's like brushing my teeth. Can't go a day without it.

I'm messy. Like, I'm very unorganized. I have ONE Alchemy folder. I should have six fat binders with colored dividers but instead I have crinkly papers from distributors, old counseling notes, contracts, menu ideas and beyond all sticking out of a faded green folder.

I've lived in Columbus for over eight years and still have to use Google maps 90% of the time I drive. 

I reply to Instagram comments when I'm crossing the street. I put my LIFE in danger to compare coconut flour pancakes to world peace.

The point of this post isn't to say "lookie here, I suck at stuff." Or maybe it is. Because I do. Don't we all? I don't want you to feed off of other people's problems; I just want you to know that everyone struggles. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all should be bragging about it, actually. 

Think how much happier we'd be to know that we're not all perfect all the time. That other people cry and have anxiety and make big mistakes and eat pizza that fell cheese-side down on the street at 3am. 

It's not about getting high off other people's misery. It's about coming together and saying look, for all the awards and engagements and perfect pictures we post (and I know I'm as guilty as anyone), let's all laugh about our mistakes. Let's talk about how the struggle is real, how this is a strong community, how for every accolade there's a hurtful reader email you'll never know about, how for every perfect pumpkin pie there's a flat flourless cookie.

We're all in this together. Lettuce not forget it! 

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