No, that's not a typo. I made it up just now on the plane. Entremanureship. Like manure. Because running a business can be really shitty sometimes.
And totally amazing, too! Running a business is kind of like eating raw kale.
It's not always easy and it's not always what you actually want, but you know it's the right thing to do. When you give it TLC, it's totally delish and nourishing. But sometimes when you step back and look at the bigger picture, you remember that kale is freaking hard and sometimes you only eat it because you know you should.
You don't always have the time or energy or desire to give it TLC. Sometimes you want to throw your hands in the air and say screw kale, I'm gonna go eat truffle fries. Truffle fries are easy. Truffle fries don't require thought and hard work. You don't have to do anything to make them better, to make them grow. They're ready to eat. They may give you the warm and fuzzies, but it's temporary. You don't eat them everyday because they don't challenge you. Kale is a constant because kale is hard and all the best things in life are.
Anyone that says he or she is running a business or chasing a dream or working their butt off and not majorly struggling in some (or all) aspects of their life is lying to you.
Everyone took a crappier picture before the version you saw on Instagram. Everyone looks at someone else and thinks, "Wow. She's amazing. He's doing so well. I wish I could do that." Everyone. Everyone wants to change something about themselves in some way---their attitude, their motivation, their work ethic, how many times a week they call their mom, their thought process, their pointy elbows (or is that just me?).
It's all about perspective. There are people that see your life and would kill to wake up in a bed inside of a house on a quiet street in a state that's not at war. There are people that go on TV everyday and have thirty nine coaches telling them what to say and eat and wear and breathe that would kill to be invisible for five minutes.
There are people that act like they have it all figured out because there's enormous societal pressure to have the answers, to be a role model, to do it the right way at the right time, to be moral, to move on, to get married, to have children, to send thank you notes, to eat kale, to write in a way that makes everyone happy, to be politically correct, to put other people's needs above your own, to keep up with every new responsibility our cell phones are taking away from us.
To be kale when you just want to be a truffle fry.
I've been struggling lately. I've found it difficult to stay motivated. I love what I do but I find myself not wanting to do it. I watched more TV last week than I have in the past six months. All I've wanted to do is sit on the couch.
Maybe it was the election. Maybe it's the rapidly growing stress of my professional future. I'm really not a big crier, but I cried several times this week. I cried for the hate, for the sick, sick people that live in this country and the victims of their antics. I cried because I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I cried because I'm the person expected to have the answers and lately all I have is questions.
From someone who looks like they have their shit together, I so don't. And the degree of my aloofness is actually kind of funny. I lose something valuable every day. Keys, wallet, almond butter, phone, mind, you name it. It's like brushing my teeth. Can't go a day without it.
I'm messy. Like, I'm very unorganized. I have ONE Alchemy folder. I should have six fat binders with colored dividers but instead I have crinkly papers from distributors, old counseling notes, contracts, menu ideas and beyond all sticking out of a faded green folder.
I've lived in Columbus for over eight years and still have to use Google maps 90% of the time I drive.
I reply to Instagram comments when I'm crossing the street. I put my LIFE in danger to compare coconut flour pancakes to world peace.
The point of this post isn't to say "lookie here, I suck at stuff." Or maybe it is. Because I do. Don't we all? I don't want you to feed off of other people's problems; I just want you to know that everyone struggles. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all should be bragging about it, actually.
Think how much happier we'd be to know that we're not all perfect all the time. That other people cry and have anxiety and make big mistakes and eat pizza that fell cheese-side down on the street at 3am.
It's not about getting high off other people's misery. It's about coming together and saying look, for all the awards and engagements and perfect pictures we post (and I know I'm as guilty as anyone), let's all laugh about our mistakes. Let's talk about how the struggle is real, how this is a strong community, how for every accolade there's a hurtful reader email you'll never know about, how for every perfect pumpkin pie there's a flat flourless cookie.
We're all in this together. Lettuce not forget it!
[Tweet "NEW! On Entremanureship. Because running a biz can be really crappy. @TheHummusapien"]
Amber @ Madden Wellness Counseling says
I so loved this! Life IS HARD! And you are right in saying that we are all basically be scam artists trying to appear perfect. I think it used to be easier. "Keeping Up With the Jones's" meant only comparing yourself to your friend or a neighbor. These days, it means keeping up with everyone on Facebook, the TV, Instagram, let alone in your work and personal life. The world would definitely be a better place if we accept one another, flaws and all. 🙂
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I know i'm wayyyy late on reading this, but WOW. I am so so so thankful that this world has people like you in it who are real when being real isn't always the most desirable thing. I wish I would have heard messages like this one from day one because I truly believe that bloggers like you make this world a better (and tastier) place.
Awwww love you Maddie! Being real may not always be the most desirable thing but neither is life, right?!
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West says
Well this is a good one. Wasn't sure what to expect with the title, but boy do I agree. Every single person in the world has problems, and we can never know what's going on in their lives just from social media. It's so hard not to compare, but comparison rarely makes you feel good. Thanks for keeping it real! 🙂
So true about comparison--I can't think of it EVER ending in something positive.
Jamie @ Dishing Out Health says
I really needed this. Like, REALLY needed it, girl lol I'm having one of those weeks where motivation is out the window and i've watched more Bravo than I'll ever care to admit. Staying motivated to do better, be better, eat better, yada yada 100% of the time is so unrealistic. We're human. We have struggles, hormones, anxiety and days we just want to stop adulting all-together. Love that you're always keeping it so real -- just know your readers appreciate your honesty beyond belief. Cheers to truffle fries.
I feel you, girl. We all have those weeks and we all watch a little too much Bravo. It feels amazing to know I'm not alone!
Ah yes.. this has been me since the election. I started crying cooking dinner last night and my husband had no idea what was going on. I'm so sad and so angry, and I am really trying to channel that anger into something positive, but I'm not doing a good job. Then on top of all of the emotions I have to focus on going back to school and changing my career path while being an adult, what?! Thank you for reminding us all that we are SO not alone in the craziness.
Same with me, Molly. It still is so hard. We all need to stick together and be mega supportive in times like this!
I loooove your realness and openness about all you do, so great to read as a future RD (and maybe entrepreneur too)
Thank you, Michelle! Keep on keepin' on.
Sarah @ BucketListTummy says
YOU, my friend, are amazing. So is this post. Keep being you and being real. Such an inspiration!
That's what I'm here for, lady!
So much love! You are one of my biggest role models, and I always remind myself not to look into people's windows and make assumptions about the glamour of their lives, but it's easy to forget that we're all on the same messy journey in one way or another. Thank you for this reminder. 🙂
Awwww thank you, Nicole! My life is so incredible far from glamorous, I assure you. I always laugh that if people saw my real life their jaw would be on the ground. It's always greener on the other side! XO
Great post!!! Thank you for being so honest! In an age where our lives can be made to look so perfect, it is nice to hear someone admit to struggling sometimes! I feel ya about last week. All I did was watch Netflix to avoid thinking too hard about the election results. 🙁 I cried at the silliest things, too. <3
I'm STILL crying at the silliest things!
All of that and you're still killing it! Never forget that:).
Awww, thanks lady. I need to remind myself that sometimes!
Kristina @ Love & Zest says
#truth!! Thx for keeping it real.
Arman @ thebigmansworld says
I think the 'man' stands for something else.
Kathy patalsky says
Ahhh this is my life especially lately. Thank you for posting this and inspiring me to feel ok about watching vintage Grey's Anatomy in the middle of a workday. Xoxox
It's comforting to know I'm not alone, Kathy! Vintage Grey's is MORE than ok. XO
At LEAST one crappier version than the one posted on Instagram. The same is true with all self care, skin care, included. In a perfect world we'd mix up our stuff in the kitchen with organic produce and cold-pressed oils and color our cheeks and lips with berries. Not realistic. Not practical and not necessary. My favorite people are life-long learners, works-in-progress, accepting of their flaws and mine as well. People with more questions than answers. Love your honesty here.
Hahaha right?! More questions than answers is my way of life. I'm starting to embrace it.
Thanks for the honesty! Love this post and I love how I think our field is really moving toward this transparent/honest/showing our shit style! Keep kickin butt, lady!
You're welcome, Kim! Thanks for taking the time 🙂
Anne @ fANNEtasticfood says
Yes, yes, YES. Thank you for this, my friend. xo
Aaaaaand let's go plan that trip right about now 😉
I really liked this post. Thanks for being real!
I'm not a business owner and I still feel this SO hard. The other day I cried because my "cheeze" sauce didn't taste "cheesy" enough. What the what?!
Thanks for the reminder that I'm not the only one who sometimes feels completely unmotivated and overwhelmed. You are awesome!
Haha you don't have to be a business ANYTHING to feel like it's all so hard. I cry over everything and anything these days. It's called being a female. And you are SO not alone 😉
Megan Ware says
Agree, agree, agree.
I'm hoping my lack of wanting to conquer the world will reignite in 2017 and that the last few months of the year are for just barely getting by and watching all 6 seasons of Downton Abbey.
Julie Lichtman says
I'm obsessed with the compassion to Kale. It's so true!! Thank you for this post Alexis 🙂
You're welcome, Julie. Thanks for reading!
Katie Shields | Honestly Nourished says
And for the record, any person who wouldn't still eat that slice of cheese pizza that fell cheese-side down on the road is the one in the wrong. After all, we have to give our microbiomes and immune systems something to do, don't we?
Lastly, if you are looking for a vice prez, mayor, or deputy of Struggle Town--I'm available and really, really good at not being organized or having my shiz together. Just holla at me. Hang in there boo. XX
Your perspective is everything 🙂 Holler at my new Co-Chief of Struggle Town!!
<3 thank you for your honesty
You're welcome, Tricia 🙂
Jessica @ Nutritioulicious says
This is awesome Alexis! Good for you for putting it all out there, because it's the TRUTH! So many days I want to quit and say what is it all for and others I say I love what I do, thank god my picture came out great. And then the next day back to "her picture is so much better than mine and she's working w that brand?! How do I get that gig?!" It's a constant ebb and flow of emotions and self doubt. Running a business and working for yourself is the biggest gift and curse all at the same time!
OMG girl I'm THE EXACT SAME. I think we all are. I don't think anyone is 100% satisfied. But that's what keeps us motivated, right? 😉
Kelly @ Eat the Gains says
Love this post! I love your honestly at all times. Everyone's life has setbacks and hard times, we just don't see it cause social media looks so picture perfect. I have had a lot of flat cookies recently (literally and figuratively), but I know if I keep pushing then one day I'll have a perfect cookie...or something close to it. Thanks for keep it real, as always.
Social media paints a verrrrry pretty picture. It's not to have the positive focus but it can be super tough on the comparison trap, too. Thanks for reading, Kelly!
Thank you for the wonderfully honest reminder. If we could all be so honest there would be far less anxiety in the world!
Why is honesty so dang hard?! One of these days...
Ashley @ Fit Mitten Kitchen says
Aw Alexis I love this! Your perspective is just so honest and real and I wish I could hug you. Thank you for sharing-people really ought to be a little more mindful when they start thinking "Oh to be like XYZ, they have everything" Because the truth is you have no idea what is really going on BTS <3 You are a true gem.
Thanks, Ashley! You're so sweet. I just hate to think that anyone would look at what I do and think it's all rainbows and butterflies. Life is super tough for everyone, some people more often than others of course. It's always greener on the other side, right?!
Thank you! Yes to all of this!!! Thank you for sharing what we all need to hear! It isn't easy running a business at all! Thank you for keeping it real!!
You're so welcome, Chanelle! Thanks for the support.
this is a terrific post. life IS often hard. some days i make it look so easy (and outsiders are
envious). and guess what? the days that are the hardest? the outsiders don't know about them and can't tell. know why? because i don't let those days annoy the hell out of me or my career path. they are there and i learn to deal with them. didn't happen overnight...this learning curve is gradual, but soooo satisfying with its bumps and challenging pieces.
ps...love the bag! 🙂
I love your perspective! You can't let the bad days outweigh the good, as hard as that can be somethings. The challenges are what make the good times so good!
Keeping it real! A lot of us cried last week. And thanks for sharing because everything you said is so true and we all need to hear it so we know we're not alone in how we feel sometimes. Have a better week!
Awwww can be all gather in a circle and just have a big hug?!
This is amazing! It's been a really shitty week for a lot of us. Thank you so much for posting. ❤️❤️❤️
Totally not an easy week. Miss you Tina!
Alli O says
So much truth in this! I follow your posts all the time and think "if only I could have it all together like that"-I also own a juice bar with my sister in NJ and often find myself comparing us to you and of course you always win 😉 But no one else knows the struggle behind running a business. They see the happy side, not the arguing with distributors, getting help to actually show up on time, worrying about sales, trying to stay up on social media (even when you don't have a clue). it's HARD! and it's always comforting to know you are not alone in your struggles. Thank you for posting this today, I've been feeling overwhelmed with the business stuff lately and although I wish everything could be sunshine and daisies for the both of us, that's not real life and it's good to get it out there. Thanks for all your hard work, you're doing an amazing job!!
Girl there's a whole restaurant group behind Alchemy...it takes a village! My life is a big cluster ef 95% of the time. It may look like I have it together but I promise I'm riding the struggle bus just like you are! And yes, managing staff is the hardest thing in the world. You're doing amazing too!! XO
Stacie Skinner says
There's so much truth in this. As an entrepreneur as well I can relate on many levels. Thank God for 'behind the scenes' or no one would believe our expertise! You made me smile, not feel so badly about the extra TV last week, and now I shall scoop it all up and march on. Minus my iphone, which was left behind this morning! Thank you for your honesty, candor and for always keeping it R.E.A.L.
Right?! I think I need to leave my phone home more often on purpose.... XO
Lauren @ wholelivinglauren says
This. Yes to everything about this. Love you xoxo
This was so great. Thank you.
Thank you Jordin!