I’m conflicted.
I needed to write this post for myself, for my clients, for my friends, and for anyone and everyone living in a world where disordered eating is commonplace.
Lately I’m feeling kind of confused about my philosophy and I want to tell you why. As I wrote this post in the notes section of my phone on a plane to DC deep in thought over Intuitive Eating, I realized something. I realized I’ve always taken for granted the fact that I’ve never suffered from disordered eating.
I was surrounded by it growing up. It was everywhere. It was normal. It still is.
I knew young women that threw up after meals and ate non-fat Greek yogurt with stevia for lunch. I knew parents that never had the “good” snacks, that restricted food. As a teenager, I can say with confidence that at least half of my friends had less than normal relationships with food.
So how did I land on the other side? I’ve always said I loved food long before I loved nutrition. My mom always found it funny (and even strange at times) how excited I got over different flavors and textures. I’d say all parents play a critical role in shaping their children’s ability to see food the way they do—as reward, as punishment, as fuel, as fun.
Growing up, my mom was “super mom.” I won’t get into details, but the things she has dealt with in life both before and after motherhood would have broken a lot of people. Nonetheless, growing up she cooked almost every night and baked most nights. Apple cake, cream cheese cookies, and banana bread were routine. To this day, the smell of Thanksgiving is one of my favorite smells in the world.
She bought organic whole grain cereal and Apple Jack’s. Cheese Nips occasionally and Amy’s most of the time. For breakfast, she’d offer me challah French toast, a bagel, eggs, or cereal. Basically the whole kitchen. She always asked if I wanted fruit but never did she force anything upon me.
My siblings and I have always been “normal” weights with fluctuations here and there. We saw food as something that brought our family together, something to look forward to. We had plenty of anxiety, but none of it stemmed from food. I can’t remember one time that I associated food with something negative. I was definitely encouraged to eat more fruits and veggies as opposed to candy or cookies, but those things were always around if I wanted them. I was never restricted. I was never forced to clean my plate. My passion for delicious food aside, I attribute much of my healthy relationship with food to my parents.
I remember one time in fourth grade when I felt “fat.” One of my best friends was teeny tiny and pointed out my “large” jean size. I hadn’t ever looked in the mirror and felt weird about my body until she brought it to my attention. I did weigh more than some of my friends at that age but I was completely ignorant to it because parents told me every day that I was beautiful and that they loved me. They didn’t shove salad in my face or use the word “fat.” Most girls my age would’ve been self-conscious, especially in today’s society where orthorexia (the obsession with healthy eating) runs rampant amongst girls young and old.
I’m finding myself becoming more and more passionate about helping others find the joy in food again rather than focusing on weight management or eating this instead of that. I am very aware that a lot of people delve into veganism to lose weight. I wasn’t one of them. I was and still am insanely passionate about the science surrounding eating plants and their ability to reverse chronic disease. It wasn’t about calories or fat and it never will be.
I will always believe in “the more plants the merrier” mantra but I will be never the person to tell you to skip your favorite scone or sausage or pumpkin spice latte. I think our society has a TON of work to do when it comes to falling in love with food again and ditching the diet mentalities that are quite literally ruining lives. So much joy has been stripped out of eating that I’m finding myself confused.
How can I advocate plant-based diets when so many people are using them as an excuse to fuel disordered eating? My biggest fear is for readers and clients to learn my philosophy or see what I eat and feel worse about themselves. I’m finding that I’m just as much if not more passionate about promoting balance and intuitive eating over promoting plant-based diets. I’d rather help someone rediscover the joy in eating scones than teach someone how to love tofu.
I can’t tell you how angry it makes me when I see dietitians and healthy living bloggers and Instagram personalities posting their 150 calorie smoothie bowls topped with a tablespoon of paleo granola for breakfast. You’re doing your fans and readers a disservice. If you want to eat that, that’s your prerogative; but whether you have credentials or not, people look up to you for nutrition guidance and you must know that you’re setting a terribly unrealistic and demoralizing example.
So what does this mean? How does this change how I practice? I don’t really know. That’s why I’m writing about it. What I do know is that I will never use scare tactics to preach organic or non-GMO or vegan diets. I swear I will never make you feel like a worse person for not eating enough kale.
I don’t want to end this on a negative note. I just need you to know where I’m at. And it’s surely not knee-deep in a bed of greens.
We are on the same wavelength lady!! I just read Intuitive Eating this year and it’s totally changed my mindset about healthy eating and health coaching . I’ve even looked into being an IE coach!
Awwww that makes my heart so happy 🙂 We’re basically twins.
his. THIS is why I love you, your blog, and why I want to become an RD. I have had my own struggles with food in college (and still am, a bit), but I want people to know a healthy balance is achievable & you should never have to restrict!!
thank you for sharing. <3
Awww thanks girl! We ALL struggle in some way. Health is a journey! Xx
PREACH! Love you woman and keep doing what you are doing…so inspiring! XOXO
Love you girl!!
I love this post so much! Unfortunately, despite growing up in a household that NEVER put any pressure or restrictions on food, I still found a way to do it to myself once I got to college. My relationship with food is much better now than it was during those four years, but it certainly isn’t perfect. I’m hoping to start a blog myself soon and I know that I need to be hyper aware of the messages I’m putting out there as it really can have such an impact on someone who is struggling with the mental side of food and eating, which is sadly far to many of us.
I will say that bloggers like you have really helped me change my diet mentality and make me feel like it is okay, normal, and healthy to be eating more, not less and focusing on food as a positive, not a negative. This is a topic that can’t be talked about enough in the food and health blogger community, so thank you for sharing!
I would say no one has a perfect relationship with food. I’m so glad this resonated with you and I’m super excited to read your blog, Jessica 🙂
Amazing post! As a fellow RD, I totally agree – our society does need to fall in love with food again.
Except if that 150 calorie smoothie bowl topped with paleo granola is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted and makes my heart happy, you’d better believe I’m going to post it on social media… 🙂
🙂
This is exactly why I read your blog. You share a joy of food without telling me that the chemicals in my favorite hot wing sauce are going to kill me. I appreciate your positivity and delicious recipes on a daily basis. Cheers!
It is so refreshing to hear this from someone who has never struggled with disordered eating. I grew up on the other side of this: always conscious of my body, always the “bigger” girl, always on a diet. I think I started “dieting” at age 12. I always was jealous of the girls who didn’t seem to have any issues with food. Its refreshing to hear your take and that you recognize you are lucky to not have suffered from this. I love that you are advocating for better health in such a positive way!
Hey there….you and I are so on the same wavelength. I have
Been mentoring women for the last 15ish years. What do they want to transform? How to get them from where they are to where they really want to be. It can be done using guilt, scare tactics and s bunch of other “trucks” to keep them coming back. But I know women flourish and fly when you show them their strengths and talents and then how to capitalize on them. Funny thing about integrity and commitment to the well being if others….it works because there’s a heart connection. All your knowledge and your amazing wit and writing style are just the icing. Your heart is the obvious foundation for all that you do. I am SO grateful for all that you are.
Wow…you’re an expert! And this comment was one of the best I’ve received. I won’t forget those kind words, Peggy!
As someone that came to you post eating disorder, I want to assure you that I do not look at your posts, your food, or your living style that way. You do an incredible job as a dietitian and food blogger to encourage a healthy approach to eating. I still struggle with eating. I worry about food and I worry about eating, so I have a hard time buying food. Sometimes I find myself hungry but not eating because I don’t have any food at home. You inspire me to change my outlook. You always have. You inspire me to look at whether or not I think the food tastes good and the nutritional value in it – not the calories. Keep doing what you’re doing. Those of us that struggle with eating disorders don’t look at things normally. It’s hard to predict how we will see something and react to it. While you’re vegan you so clearly show that you eat because you love eating, not to lose weight or be skinny. Keep that message. It comes across and it helps.
Awww thanks, dear. That’s incredibly encouraging to here. We ALL struggle with eating and body image issues. Anyone that says they aren’t is lying! It’s helpful how you worded the last part, about people with eating disorders not seeing things normally. Thanks for your insight! Xo
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with realness and authenticity- love every point you made and you’re absolutely right. Your mom sounds like such a gem and I applaud you for sharing your heart and passion about where you’re at right now. Love!!!
Aww thanks, Shannon! Missing you!
Thanks Alexis. I’m entering therapy for disordered eating this Saturday (ahhh!) after experiencing a relapse. It’s refreshing to read the honest words of someone who hasn’t experienced this, but is aware of it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but keep on keeping on and most of all – thank you.
Good for you, Elizabeth! That’s a huge start. Excited for you! XO
This is a wonderful post, Alexis. I totally feel where you are coming from. As I learn more about nutrition and get closer to becoming an RD, I can’t help but fall more in love with plants (as if that was even possible!). That being said, I see the skewed relationship most people have with food and I want to help fix that too. It’s a tough place to be, but I totally understand your feelings. Good job for sharing 🙂
You’re on the right path, lady! I’m excited to see where your path takes you 🙂 You have a very bright future ahead!
I LOVE this. I am not a dietitian, but my field is in public health and I am so passionate about promoting healthy lifestyles and eating (and I don’t mean only eating what one would consider “healthy” or “clean” food, but more of a healthy balance). I grew up the same way with food and have never struggled with disordered eating either, and I was so surprised to see how prevalent it was once I started blogging. I seriously love your authenticity and approach to food as a dietitian and blogger. Lots of love to you, lady!
Isn’t it crazy how blogging and social media reveals a whole new world? We all have so much more to learn! Sending love and good vibes 🙂
Alexis, I LOVE THIS! I am so inspired by you! This post was so honest and so true and touched some very important points that so many people struggle with. Thank you for sending such a wonderful, positive, and needed message. You are the best and a true role model! <3 XOXOXO, the biggest Cherry Cheesecake Acai Bowl and Alchemy fan there ever was!
Awww love you Erin!!!!! You’re THE sweetest!!
Love your perspective. Your authenticity and commitment to the job is going to get you so freaking far (er, even farther… because you’re already there).
You rock, Brittany 🙂 Thanks for making my day with this sweet comment! XO