Hey friends!
How's it hanging? We've had some absolutely gorgeous weather here in Columbus. What a treat!
An Unexpected Diagnosis

I shared last night on Instagram stories that we got some disappointing baby news at my follow-up scan on Monday. Before I go into the details, I must say that the outpouring of encouraging words, personal stories, prayers, and messages I received yesterday truly brought me to tears and I cannot begin to put into words the gratitude I have for this community. It has made all the difference in my outlook.
I mentioned in my Second Trimester Update that at my 18 week anatomy scan, the doctor suspected I may have placenta previa and/or vasa previa. I was put on pelvic rest and told to come back for another scan at 28 weeks. On Monday the maternal fetal medicine doctor confirmed I have vasa previa, which is a rare condition where baby's blood vessels are exposed and unprotected over my cervix.
That means the blood vessels could rupture and be life threatening if I were to go into labor naturally and have a vaginal delivery. In an effort to avoid this, I'll be admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks (in about a month) for close monitoring and proximity to the operating room and deliver the baby via planned c-section likely between 34-36 weeks. She said 36 weeks is the farthest they'd let me go, as baby's risk of being inside gets greater each week than his risk of being outside (prematurity).
Jeff can't join me at appointments due to Covid, so you can imagine what it felt like to receive this news by myself. I definitely broke down from the overwhelm of hearing I'd potentially have a premature baby and that I had to leave for the hospital in a month.
It's hard not to resort to "why me" in these times but the reality is that we have all been faced with huge curveballs this year, to put it lightly. I'm so grateful to have gotten pregnant as quickly as we did, and that baby is totally healthy. That's all I can ask for!
Thank God that I have an incredible support system to help me sort through the emotions. The doctor kindly spoke to my mom and Jeff and explained everything to them.
I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm dreading bedrest. But I'm also incredibly excited to meet our sweet baby boy earlier than I thought we would! I've heard from countless women who delivered anywhere from 25-35 weeks and have wonderful, thriving little ones. It's been beyond encouraging to hear from you mamas!
I know it's ok to grieve not having the birth I hoped for. I also know that my attitude is everything right now.
I've been challenged in many ways over my lifetime, and every time my resilience is tested, I come out a stronger, more grateful, and empathetic person. I know I'll look back on this experience and think, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
The journey to motherhood certainly isn't linear nor "perfect" for anyone. Sharing these realities is so important to me to help normalize the beautiful imperfection that is this journey. There's a reason everyone says motherhood is the most amazing and the hardest thing in the world!
Now let's talk eats before the background of every photo is a hospital room! LOL.
Lovely Meals Lately
Apple cinnamon pancakes with peanut butter, maple syrup, and scrambled eggs on the side. Our go-to weekend breakfast these days!
Chili loosely based on this recipe that I made in the Instant Pot. I didn't use any carrot, celery, or tomato paste but I added sweet potato, regular potato, Brussels sprouts, and zucchini that needed to be used up. I find chili is so forgiving in that way!
I put everything in except the beans and cooked it on manual for 9 minutes then quick released the pressure and stirred in the beans and some lime juice. I served it with cornbread and freshly grated white cheddar on the side.
I whipped up a batch of these date-sweetened chocolate banana muffins and added a bunch of chocolate chips. So delish!
I had Jeff take care of dinner one night, which was this foil salmon (defrosted from frozen) plus two bags of Trader Joe's sweet potato gnocchi (our favorite) and salad. I love that this is a fairly quick meal that lasts for two nights.
Egg sandwich with arugula, pickles, whole grain mustard, avocado, and havarti plus a super yummy rose chia yogurt bowl from new café Emmett's. Delish!
An epic s'mores brownie from Harvest Pizza.
Whole grain English muffin with avocado, EBT seasoning, and eggs. Coffee on the side, of course!
Peanut butter toast on TJ's sprouted multigrain bread (I keep it in the freezer) with cranberry sauce and a cappuccino for breakfast number one.
Love this espresso machine, milk frother, and pods! I just ordered more pods so I can take this baby to the hospital with me. I want good coffee on bedrest!
Peanut noodles but with raw veggies (cabbage, snap peas, and carrots) instead.
Cannot get enough of this apple cinnamon bread, also great from the freezer.
Have the best week and thank you again so much for reading, supporting, and just being here!
Mari says
Alexis, I'm saddened to read this. I know this is a scary time for you. I will add you & your baby to my prayer list. Just want you to know this happened to my friend, delivered her daughter 12 weeks early. They worried, about their little girl, how would they cope with her ability to grow as other children & her learning ability. All the worries they had went out the window. Well.....that baby grew like a weed, top in her class; now 31 years old; a nurse; married with her own little 4 year old girl. Keep your faith in God.
Alexis Joseph says
Oh wow, 12 weeks is super early. That is so reassuring, I love it! Thanks, Mari!
Charlie says
Hi! Love the blog, long time reader, first time commenter 🙂 I had my first baby - also a boy! - last December, and, after mentally preparing/hoping for a natural birth for two trimesters, I ended up having a scheduled c-section since our boy was in a rather precarious position. I was initially really disappointed, but decided to just do everything I could to mentally prepare for our new birth plan. And I have to tell you: I LOVED our birth. Everyone in the room was helpful and supportive. My husband still got to hold my hand, we were able to watch our son enter the world (ask about a clear drape if that interests you! I know different hospitals have different policies), and I finished the surgery with my baby snuggled on my chest under a blanket (which may not be an option depending on your medical condition - but you'll get to hold him soon either way!). It wasn't anything I had pictured when we first found out I was pregnant, but I seriously wouldn't change anything about it.
Your mindset sounds really positive and I'm excited for you to meet your baby boy soon! GOOD LUCK!
Linda says
Hang in there, Alexis. You are such a strong, amazing woman! It will all be worth it!
Kim says
Alexis, I don't know you personally but love your blog and think you're awesome! Thank you for sharing more about your pregnancy. I can't imagine how overwhelming this news must be; I appreciate how you're choosing optimism and allowing yourself to grieve. I work in the NICU and am amazed at the little fighters I see every day. Praying for you and wishing you the best! Thank you for all you do to promote intuitive eating and loving life!
Jennifer says
Aw wishing you, Jeff, and the baby all the health and well wishes. I had an unexpected C-section but it went extremely well and we were both healthy afterwards. 😊 All of your meals always look so very tasty as well.
Kori says
I am so very sorry for what you are going through, friend. I wish you all of the very best as you navigate this new plan. I have doubts your little boy will be just fine, and I hope you can find some silverlinings through this! I appreciate you sharing your experience. For what it's worth, Kaci and I were born at 6 lbs 6 oz. and 3 lbs 13 oz., respectively. Overall, I am healthy, so a premie baby or weight is not indicative of problems. I'm sure you have an incredible team behind you. <3
Wonderful meals throughout your post!
Nicole says
Hi! My sister in law delivered at 33 weeks due to complications and her baby had. NICU a stay. She now has a beautiful, healthy and SMART 2.5 year old ...who is also in the 90th percentile for height lol. Everything will be ok! Prayers to you and your husband 🙂
Alexis Joseph says
Yayyy! So tall, I love it. Thanks for letting me know, Nicole!
Donna says
Blessings to you and your family. I know it will all turn out positive and you'll meet your little boy with all the love and joy of motherhood! Sending love and strength!
Alexis Joseph says
Thank you tons, Donna!!
Jenn says
For what it’s worth: I work with patients with cancer. The thing they tell me has been the most helpful in coping with the Why me? Is flipping it and asking Why not me? Doesn’t take away all the struggles with cancer but does help to minimize the existential distress.
Also my daughter was born a healthy albeit tiny 4 lb 11 oz girl at 32 weeks and is now a thriving 11 year old. My only problem during infancy was breastfeeding because she was not quite strong enough initially to latch on her own. Hang in there. Uncertainty is scary.
Alexis Joseph says
Awwww I love that mindset--so true. It's all about perspective. I've heard that about breastfeeding for sure so it's good to be prepared. Thanks for sharing your story, Jenn!