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    Hummusapien » Lifestyle » Life » I Broke Up With My Phone and Fell in Love With Someone Else

    I Broke Up With My Phone and Fell in Love With Someone Else

    Published Jan 13, 2017 · Modified Sep 7, 2022 · by Alexis Joseph · 23 Comments

    I did this fantastical thing a couple weeks ago that may sound impossible, because in this day and age it is. I didn't use my phone for an entire day.

    FullSizeRender

    Not only did I not use it, but I didn't even look at it. I acted like it didn't exist. Like it was 1995 and I could actually find joy in real things that didn't beep at me. Can you imagine?!

    The real fuel behind my goal was to stay the hell off social media. To go "off the grid." I really didn't like how the first thing I did upon waking was scroll through social media and emails. I felt like my brain was constantly in over-drive, always over-stimulated by what everyone else around me was doing. I felt like I had a very real addiction to my phone. That and coffee.

    You may be surprised to learn that I haven't always been into social media. I was one of the last girls in my group of friends to get a Facebook in high school. I never in a million years considered getting a MySpace or Xanga. It all felt strange and pointless, and frankly, self-indulgent. And it still does.

    Then before I could barely blink, social media was everything and everywhere. It was an integral part of growing my blog, my brand, and later of growing Alchemy. I always ask customers I've never seen before how they heard about Alchemy and more than 90% of the time, they say Instagram. 

    Now don't get me wrong---I totally love photography, writing, food, and visual expression overall. BUT, but...in my humble opinion, the networks themselves have become all-consuming. Instead of leaving Instagram feeling inspired like I used to, now I often leave feeling like I have ten more things I should be doing, wearing, thinking, or being.

    When I met my boyfriend, he had no social media. Zero. And I freaking loved it. He was the ying to my yang. He eventually got Instagram then later decided to get rid of because it was obnoxious. "It's another version of 'keeping up with the Jones,'" he'd say. I couldn't disagree with him. I feel like I'm as much at fault as I am a victim.

    I do like Instagram. I think it can be fun. But I've found that my mind is so cluttered because I'm always staring at what other people are doing and thinking and saying for and comparing myself to them. I guess I should buy a house now. I guess I should try that workout. I guess I should get married. I guess I should go to Tulum. Isn't that what all the cool people are doing?

    I guess I should put every minute of my life on a reel for all the world to see because hey, I'm a blogger in the media and that's what's expected of me. Making a recipe? Throw it on the gram. Cleaning your brand new marble countertops? Gram 'dat. Sitting on the toilet talking about your favorite beauty products that eleven brands just gifted you? By all means, enlighten us.

    While social media can (and should) be inspiring and motivating, it can also be self-deprecating. I nearly always get on social media with lighthearted intentions and leave feeling inadequate. It doesn't often make me feel any more happy or confident or grateful. 

    When I wasn't on my phone for a day (and that's not just social media, but also texting, phone calls, and email), my brain felt weirdly and beautifully clear. Like I could think straight. Even if scrolling through Instagram were all rainbows and butterflies, it still leaves me foggy with thoughts. Whether it's good or bad or something in between, it's undoubtedly a time suck. It's time away from real relationships and real life.

    In the beginning, it felt weird driving in the passenger seat, laying in bed, and just relaxing without casually having my phone in my hand. I'm so dependent on it. Even if I'm not on social networks, I'm reading work emails that draw my attention elsewhere. It's odd that such a seemingly trivial act could make me feel so liberated, but it was truly inspiring to me. 

    I felt like I fell back in love with my mind, my values, my life. I fell back in love with me.

    I always feel like it's impossible to go off the grid because I have to post for my blog and for Alchemy, but it's not. I can post content without sitting on the networks all day long freakishly monitoring engagement like I find myself doing so much of lately. 

    Interacting on Instagram may help grow my blog and nurture my internet relationships, but at what cost? It's made my generation dependent on technology to the point that we literally are lost and panicked without it. It's made us closer to people online than in real life. It leaves us feeling like we're never enough and hyper-focusing on everyone else's highlight reel. It's scary is what it is.

    I encourage you to try taking even a 12 hour hiatus from your phone and just see how it feels. Know that the people that really matter know where you are and how you're doing without a picture on social media validating it. I deleted Facebook from my phone and moved Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat to the last "page" on my phone so I don't see them when I open it and it has helped me a lot. Out of sight, out of mind.

    Start by putting it in your room face down and walking away. For hours. You don't owe it to anyone to be available at all times. Lately the boyf and I put our phones away after dinner so we can spend time together without distractions.

    Treat yourself and take the challenge.

    Go fall in love with yourself, your loved ones, and your real experiences again. GO LIVE!

    About Alexis Joseph


    Oh HEY there! I'm Alexis Joseph, food writer, blogger, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN), new mama, and co-founder of local restaurant group, Alchemy. I use my passion for cooking and wellness as fuel to help others ignite a more freeing and happy relationship with food. Learn more about Alexis!

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    1. Raquel says

      June 09, 2017 at 2:30 pm

      I am up to the challenge, but it will be soooooo difficult. I do not recall the day where I did not touch my mobile all day and was completely off the grid. Definitely a good detox!!

      Reply
    2. Calvin Green says

      February 12, 2017 at 6:44 am

      Doing important things rather than wasting my time on non sense issues on social media.I need to take a break and do something worth.

      Reply
      • Alexis says

        February 12, 2017 at 2:02 pm

        I was such a wake up call! I so recommend.

        Reply
    3. Emma says

      January 23, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      Girl I was in Indonesia on an island with NO internet or cell phone access for 3 weeks. It was amazing and has changed my habits since I've returned. Good for you for taking breaks and continue forming new habits. I noticed that my anxiety levels dropped immensely.

      Reply
      • Alexis says

        January 24, 2017 at 10:57 am

        Thanks for reading! I love hearing this. It truly makes such a difference 🙂

        Reply
    4. Jennifer @ Fit Nana says

      January 21, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      I need to do this. Sometimes, my brain is all jumbled and I think I might be able to "declutter" it if I just put the phone down for a while and I don't mean while I'm sleeping. I also need to turn off the TV. Maybe I'll actually be able to read a book!!

      Reply
      • Alexis says

        January 22, 2017 at 3:54 pm

        This is exactly how I feel sometimes! The luxury of simply sitting down and clearing your mind to read a book seems so unattainable sometimes, but simply stepping back from my phone has helped so much.

        Reply
    5. Ashley @ A Lady Goes West says

      January 15, 2017 at 10:39 am

      Amen, sister! I think that as much as there are so many benefits to social media, the "perfection" out there can leave us feeling worse than we started. In addition to realizing that what we see on someone's highlight reel is not real, we also need to step away from it all. Thanks for the refreshing reminder! 🙂

      Reply
      • Alexis says

        January 17, 2017 at 11:01 am

        Couldn't agree more. Thank you so much for reading! 🙂

        Reply
    6. Ashley | Fit Mitten Kitchen says

      January 13, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      THIS. Oh man Alexis you nailed it. I couldn't have said it better myself. MORE MORE MORE posts like these please! <3

      Reply
    7. ACKTIVE LIFE says

      January 13, 2017 at 1:48 pm

      Cannot wait to do this this weekend! I think I should designate one whole day to just leaving the phone alone. I KNOW it will make me feel so much better and give me just a fresh perspective on everything. LOVE this post friend! XOXO

      Reply
    8. Anna says

      January 13, 2017 at 1:24 pm

      I really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about other things besides food! Your recipes are great, but I appreciate that you go deeper than that sometimes.

      Reply
    9. Ashley@CookNourishBliss says

      January 13, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      I absolutely love this post!! So so so so much. Before I started my blog I never really was into social media. At all. {And my husband despises it (and doesn't have any accounts) for pretty much all the reasons you talk about here. }

      And then I started blogging and was like damn, I have to do this. And to this day I hate being on it. Ugh. haha I'm working on finding a balance!! I think a detox is in order!!

      Reply
    10. Marsha says

      January 13, 2017 at 12:10 pm

      So good! I did a digital detox with She Works His Way back in November, and I've made it a commitment this year to not be so tied to my phone and social media!

      Reply
    11. Vicki Delp says

      January 13, 2017 at 11:33 am

      ??❤??

      Reply
    12. Christine says

      January 13, 2017 at 11:10 am

      Thanks for inspiring me! So much of this resonates with me. I've never been really into using social media, but it's such a necessary part of blogging, and sometimes I feel so conflicted about it. I don't want to constantly open Instagram (especially first thing in the morning, which I do), and I also don't want to take a break from Insta then come back and feel inadequate because people have unfollowed me because I didn't post or interact with them enough. Working on letting go a little and can't wait to take a break from my phone too! Thanks for the motivation <3

      Reply
    13. Michelle says

      January 13, 2017 at 10:55 am

      Love this! I was thinking about how addicted I am to my phone/social media recently, but also feeling like I 'need' an online presence in the food/nutrition world. You're so right though, you can be on Instagram without being ON instagram alllll the time. Such a good reminder

      Reply
    14. Pamela Chavez says

      January 13, 2017 at 9:00 am

      My husband and I both need this!

      Reply
    15. Pamela Chavez says

      January 13, 2017 at 8:58 am

      Pretty sure I am in need of a phone detox. Having just started my business in the last six months I feel that I need to be at the ready. I work for myself and am a holistic nutritionist, chef, food blogger and I feel that my phone is my life force to business right now. I am still very much growing my business and striking a balance is hard. This is an inspiring post. Thank you!

      Reply
    16. Dietitian Jess says

      January 13, 2017 at 8:45 am

      I want to find an app (I'm sure there is one- if not I need to get on it) that only gives you an half hour or hour a day on all social media- those 5 minutes here and there and mindless scrolling adds up. I do enjoy engaging and sharing so I wouldn't want to give it up completely but I thinking being more conscious about how I spend my time would be good for me and anyone. Love this post <3

      Reply
    17. Karlie says

      January 13, 2017 at 8:32 am

      This is amazing! I read a similar post by Davida and implemented a no phone before 8 or after 8, and never on Sundays. Its not a lot, but its something and I definitely notice that giving myself those precious hours is so centering. Thanks for sharing

      Reply
    18. Maryea {Happy Healthy Mama} says

      January 13, 2017 at 8:27 am

      "You don’t owe it to anyone to be available at all times."

      This. X100

      Between after dinner and kids' bedtime is a no-phone time in our house. Yes, there are times when I want to grab my phone and I try to justify to my husband because I'm a blogger and I feel like I "need" to keep up on social media, but really, being present with my family is more important.

      Reply
    19. Leah Goldglantz says

      January 13, 2017 at 6:30 am

      OMG I couldn't love this more! Every single word of it. I am in desperate need of a 12 hour phone detox. Gonna go fall in love w myself 🙂

      Reply

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